I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent
did he give her 2 thumbs up?
no but my fave part of this is the writing on her back says “go sit on a dick Putin”
Instead of caramel apples this Halloween, melt jolly ranchers in a 250 degree oven for around 5 minutes, then pour over your apples. Add edible glitter for the sparkling space effect!
this is kind of genius
I require SPACE APPLES in my life :D
i can’t get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in people’s breath
and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill)
I had to fucking reply “I prefer people when they’re not breathing”
This.. is the best cake EVER.
THAT’S A CAKE?
“Oh, this is a pretty cool statue - A CAKE? WHAT THE HELL?”
What evil person would want to eat this sort of cake though.
slow clap for the harry potter fandom